Infantilization

I have a hunger

to fill the hole

the gun of your tongue

took out of my ribs.

***

You say

I love you

like a magic potion,

you say

I’m sorry

like a receipt,

Dear, what I mean is,

you say

help me

like a strangler fig who’s thirsty,

you say

you miss me

like a lion’s den without it’s prey,

honey, what I mean is,

you just say I love you

to put me under your spell,

you just say I’m sorry

to fool me

into exchanging my hurt for forgiveness

while you only replace your poison

with new packaging–

same lies

in switched out boxes

with different prices–

but I’ve figured you out,

I still have the red ribbons

from trick presents

more damning than the dollar signs.

Earth, I hunger

for her gun,

to take it out

and smash it silent

in the fight tonight,

I hunger

to unleash its huge sound

into the sewer

where it belongs,

I hunger

for a hug

to bind up my blood wounds

I hunger

for the legs of a gnu

to run,

fast as rainfall

rehung from liquid lightning drops,

take me out

and watch me go

into the light

dappled every hue

tonight

purify me in the fire

tonight

reborn as a phoenix

tonight

in the infant pyre

so bright

feed my bullet hunger, flames, and make me

new