Like Happiness. Yeah?

My heart’s like a laptop,

I’ve got apps going on across the sides, and windows open,

my emotions change like the wind

and my thoughts, my busy day

come and go like switching tabs;

but the backdrop behind it all

should look something like happiness.

Yeah?

Maybe I was expecting too much,

or comparing myself to others,

but when I closed out the windows

and sat down

and breathed…

—

I found a bundle of pain,

no pleasant picture of gold

painted the landscape of my screen,

the backdrop of my laptop teemed

like it could reach out and make me touch it–

it couldn’t,

but it didn’t have to,

I could trace its texture through the cursor of my mouse.

transported,

I tumbled

sucked into its storm,

howling water knives

cut,

black clouds

black hail

black waves

drowned me

and ice needles

mistook me

for pillowcases with tears,

they dragged jagged threads of lightning

deep across my skin

I had no words

for this hurt

stitching me together

splitting me apart

—

bury it.

My laptop

could use a good charging, or some battery-saver mode.

Let’s pull up

youtube, relive minecraft nostalgia days

find a funny video for a few minutes,

like a window looking out

of red eyes and white headphones.