***
Is my appearance
why the patients gawk,
Dr. Mizto asked,
motioning to
their torso.
Yeah, probably,
I said,
but it’s not your middle
that’s the issue–
at least not under that puffer coat–
but your head…
Well,
they said,
last time I checked
this is how mortals on this plane look.
And I said
have you checked outside your door
by chance?
And they said
no
all the patients
come to me.
And I said
have you looked at
any of their heads?
Sure,
they said,
that’s how I know
they gawk at me.
And I said
have you looked at your head recently?
And compared the two?
And they said
yes
I look just like you.
And I panicked
that I actually did look like them
but patted my long white hair
and my nose
where their third eye was
sideways
and said
no, you don’t look like me.
And they glared
with only the sideways eye
and widened the other two
and said
Witch Kook,
would you like to take back control
of your own experiment?
And I said
I don’t care
about
this place
I just
needed to ask
how to get rid of guilt
everytime you do something
bad,
and how to
quit punishing yourself
and fearing you’ll turn out
like
someone’s
dad
in only the vaguest sense
;
how do you not let
the magic
consume you
like I consume life
because I might be a shapeshifter
but I’ve
never seen myself
as a tyrannical
rex
despite what I did
to this city
yet my head
keeps trying to punish me
for this heartbeat in me
that really
really
REALLY
wants to rule.
And I just
don
’
t
want to feel bad about it
in a year
or ten
again
like I have
these past few days,
or maybe longer ,
like,
Dr. Mizto,
I exiled myself to the snow realm
because I was trying to sate
karma
or my conscience
or something
and Dr. Mizto said,
what’s conscious?
Your heart?
I didn’t know
mortal hearts
had sentience.
Or, sapience?
I always get those two
mixed up.
And I said
***
Check out my new book (on Amazon or these sites)
Jordyn Saelor 