Video Games

abstract rings of sparks reflect around a silhouette
abstract sparks and reflections
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Do I take this for a sign

of the breakdown of society?

Or evidence for the inner voice asking if I’m fully human?

I play video games

but only multiplayer ones

because I always pick the support character (the healer, the one making everyone else better, but who’s less-than-great at standing on their own)–

it gives me purpose,

saving people’s lives,

rescuing them from danger.

In a battle on the screen,

I’m great at communicating

where I am, what I give, what I need.

Is this the sign

of society’s breakdown?

Or is this just my brain?

Because I don’t even know what to say

when someone asks to my face if I’m feeling okay.

I don’t know how to read

someone’s needs

in the flesh,

and I fear I’ll do more damage than healing.

I leave a party in the dark,

the clouds blocking out the stars,

but even if I could see them they still couldn’t tell me

how everyone gets on chatting so well,

how to actually enjoy the food instead of barely picking out a few things I can stand.

How do I stand, fighting these battles on my own?

Because on my own, I don’t know.

So maybe this is the truth evidencing my inhumanity: the people at the party didn’t have to fight,

eating wasn’t a battle

and neither was speaking

and answering how they’re living just came

as naturally as breathing.

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