Alphabet Stewp

Allazia ate my allergy

Beatrice bit my bee

Carlos cut clean cells

and I learnt my abc’s

like an xqz:

a for apple

and ape

c for copper cents

k for knee

and s for snake plus is

but you already knew this

I mean

uu olredee noo qis

and yeah

we have spare letters

for sh, th and ch

so q=th

and c=ch

and x=sh

let’s goo katc

sum qin xuuz

and put qem wiq qu

koots and klooks

are you following?

There’s no letter for the vowel in “put”

by the way,

if we’re being consistent, “o” makes an “oh” and “awe”

and “a” makes an “aay!” and “aaah!”

and “u” makes a “you” or “oo” and “uh”

so where’s put

gonna put itself,

but you know this

if you speaks english well

you’s all like

“hoho eengliq makes no sense,”

but I still gots my point across

and in

to your head

so ya

there’s my proof

yuu maak noo sens

and yuu doon’t eeqer

and neeqer duu ii

soo qaar.