The Sand Witch’s Familiar/Croissant Crab

This witch lives in a castle

just above the tideline,

the sun rises from the yeast

and wakes her crusty eyes.

She goes out, collecting jellyfish for breakfast, tuna for lunch,

but most of the morning she loafs around

with Crissy the croissant crab,

her best friend and familiar.

Sammy the sand witch

and Crissy the crab

play tag

in the sand,

they shout “lettuce catch you!” to the fleeing waves

and “Bad Lazy Trash!” to the divebombing seagulls

hungry for a scrap,

of course, one day the BLT game got stale

so Sammy promised

those birds would have their scrap,

the sandwich and crab whipped up a sourdough one evening,

and together they summoned the Bread Beast,

with fists of bagels

elbows of toasted angles

breath like salami and mustard.

Bread Beast took their stance on the beach

and lassoed seagulls with miracle whips,

the birds counterattacked with pecking bills and torrid talons

but Bread Beast was buttered, too slick to get a hold on–

Sammy and Crissy cheered on from the castle,

“go Bread Beast, grind them beneath your heel!”

“Watch out birdbrains, this tortilla’s gonna eat ya!”

and those poor birds, they heard it,

and fled all the way to Brazil.

So Sammy and Crissy and Bread Beast

ate grilled cheese with tomatoes to celebrate

and lived baguettely ever after.