The Game of Life

The Game of Life (board game)
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I would like to thank all participants of this game for letting me adapt it for this post:)


Meet Cadence Doyle: she has a job as a comedian in Las Vegas, stage name: Marian Marquette.

Meet Griselda Last: she’s British, parents Knot and Greta. She goes to college to major in illustration.

Meet Freddie: first name “Fre,” middle name “dd,” last name “ie,” native to the Bahamas, he goes to college to major in gambling….or statistics.

Griselda spends a semester in London, or technically, all of them.

Freddie graduates early, becomes a doctor, somehow.

Cadence elopes, enters a QPR (or Queer Platonic Relationship) with Albert France, of Canada. Neither of them take the other’s last name. (Griselda thinks Albert is secretly just a peg, or a mannequin. Or, if you will, a manne-Canadian. Is this offensive, she wonders?)

Griselda graduates, becomes a lawyer with her illustration degree.

Cadence and Bert move to New York, where they live in a log cabin in the city.

Freddie marries Debbie Little Girl. Unfortunately, Debbie married a man with the last name “ie” so now she lives as Debbie Little Girl Ie. They move to Jamaica, Debbie’s native residence.

Griselda marries Georgina First, parents Scot and Engle. Now, they are Mrs. and Mrs. Griselda and Georgina Last-First.

Cadence and Bertie furnish a baby’s room.

Griselda and Georgina furnish a baby’s room.

Freddie and Debbie have a little boy, Jay Jay Ie.

Cadence and Eggbert travel to Egypt.

Griselda loses her job (someone finally checked her resume). Against all odds, she picks up a gig as a car mechanic.

Freddie loses his job for questionable gambling practices. He and Debbie move back to the Bahamas, where he works as a police officer, ticketing people for speeding on the pristine beaches.

Cadence loses her job as a comedian. She lays to rest the stage name of Marian Marquette to become a figure skater.

Alberto writes books, but hardly enough to make a living. So Cadence returns to school, to boost her ice skating career. Her salary increases by $20,000 a paycheck.

Griselda returns to school, and buys a $10,000 computer for Georgina, who gets into 3D animation. Griselda abandons the mechanic gig to teach math in a primary school, with her degree in illustration.

Freddie’s wife opens a baking business; it’s a brief stint. Debbie Little’s Cookies gets sued by Little Debbie. Debbie Little changes the company name to Little Girl (Debbie), but it’s not the same.

Freddie returns to school, becomes a computer scientist. No one knows what he does there.

Cadence wins a dance show competition. Then another one.

Freddie wins a million dollars off gambling (what a useful college major, that).

Griselda loses $100,000 to gambling. She and Georgina have no kids, just the $10,000 computer. And a Tudor-style home.

Cadence and Al adopt two children; Bailey Doyle, and Riley France, with different last names so their teachers will never compare them to each other. The family moves into a large cape home in New York.

Freddie and Debbie have a girl, B B Ie. Afterward, they lament not naming one of their children ABCDE, or just ABCD, since their last name already sounds like “ee.”

Griselda has to pay taxes; she asks the great big question, if taxes are what pay the teachers, why do teachers have to pay taxes? She gets a Nobel peace prize–but not for that. She gets a Nobel peace prize for teaching 5-year-olds what 8+7 is.

Freddie and Debbie buy a mansion.

Cadence and Albertie travel to China.

Griselda becomes an honorary grandparent; a 5-year-old student called her “grandma.” She retires.

Freddie gets sued by Griselda, but nothing comes of it. Freddie retires.

Cadence, age 70, currently making $100,000 as a figure skater, retires.

They all celebrate the single best thing in life: selling your great big house to live in a decrepit retirement home until your death.


If you would like to buy me a pizza for my own game of life, go check out my page by clicking on the pizza->🍕

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