January 29th, 2022/I got upset with this one

Today’s Prompt: How are you changing the world?
torches hoisted to the dark
Photo by Luca Dross on Pexels.com

After several hours of considering this prompt, I discovered how upset I was with the expectation to change the world.

It’s too much for my anxiety to handle.

It was tons of pressure on younger-me to do something useful then, in order to become a world-changing force in my future.

This expectation to change the world is so integral to society, and I still see those beliefs in myself and in the people around me.

It annoys me.

I am not a failure just because I didn’t invent the cure to cancer.

I am not a failure just because I didn’t institute world peace.

I am not a failure because I didn’t save the planet.

I am not a failure because I didn’t become president or go to the Olympics or get a news story about the dog shelter I didn’t start running when I was 13.

I am a success because I am alive, because of the people in my life who matter to me, I am a success when I choose to extend kindness and understanding.

I’d rather change people than change the world.

And you, little sister, your worth isn’t defined by the prestige of your choir.

And you, little brother, just be yourself instead of believing you need to be somebody’s invulnerable hero.

Maybe we can do away with words like “success” and “failure,” or at least do away with the connotations of them.

I’ve failed at hundreds of things and learned hundreds of things in the process. Failing doesn’t equal “I’m worthless” or “I’m embarrassing.” I’ve succeeded at many things, but it’s rarely to do with money or power or beauty or awards. My success equals knowing in my heart I’ve done something good.

So just, no. I ain’t the world’s savior.

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